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Showing posts from October, 2017

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Lessons

I've been more tired than usual lately. Not extremely so, but a noticeable difference in energy level, enough that I have cut back on running and weight lifting to give my body more recovery time. For example, in the first three weeks of October I ran an average of 20 miles per week, this week I ran only 12. I upped the weight I have been lifting, though, but not by much as I have a home gym and am limited by my equipment. When I have gone running I have had little motivation and felt low on energy. I have also been dreading my weight training but doing it anyway. Pushing through it, as is my tendency.

The things is, my body is telling me to slow down in other ways. For example, I have had more aches and pains than normal and feel a bit "off" health-wise. I recognize my lack of motivation/dread as tell-tale signs of over training. Plus, when the body hurts, you listen! What is hurting? My knees feel achy on and off but nothing major. The part of my upper back that was hur…

No Job, No Worries

Not a whole lot to write about this morning. Things have been quiet and a bit uneventful and I've not been much interested in blogging these days. My motivation for blogging is mostly my spiritual experiences and it has been eerily quiet lately except for seeing a lot of combinations of 11, 111, and 1111's. No lucid dreams or OBEs, no Kundalini, no strange feelings or "ah-ha" moments - just the mundane, physicality overload.

No Job, No Worries

I've still not heard anything about the job. Yesterday I got a call from another manager of a store, though. He asked me to consider working for him and gave me the address so I could check it out. I was shopping for shoes at the time with my son, Elek. The new pair I bought at the beginning of the month caused my left foot to get sore and so I had to send them back, so, I needed a replacement pair. When I got the phone call, Elek saw his chance to escape and went on a run across the store at full speed. It was very hard to t…

Auspicious

Auspicious: A a word that came to mind when considering how my life has recently changed. It actually popped into my mind while responding to a FB post about current astrological events and their potential effects. For me, the change began around October 10 when Jupiter entered Scorpio. I don't know much about why this astrological change in planet location would affect me the way it did but I felt the shift the day before and have been feeling it ever since! It initially felt like a burden lifted off my shoulders in the way I perceived it. Then there was a definite relaxing of my physical body and even my mind relaxed as my inner dialogue slowed to a trickle. I continue to feel more calm and relaxed. It's like my subconscious received the message, "The threat is over" after being on alert for way too long.

Doors Will Open

I received the message, "Doors will open for you now" not long ago. When I heard it I Knew it was truth but I did not speculate as to why …

Answers in Dreams

Prior to bed I again asked for clarification, this time shifting my question to, "Give me more specifics on what you mean by "face". Face what exactly?"

Dream: Suitor 

I was invited to a man's home where we had dinner and a nice chat. He was a nerdy (something has been overlooked) sort of guy with a pronounced nose, thin face and light hair. He was tall and thin, wore glasses and appeared to be somewhat young. We got along well, though, and I enjoyed his company. We spoke about his plans, his education and other things. He invited me to be more than friends. I declined. I remember being attracted to the attention he was giving me but understanding the implications allowing myself to overly indulge in his attention. I did not want to encourage him knowing I was unable to reciprocate. I had thoughts about my husband and family at this time.

I remember him telling me he had bought the house (soul, self) we were in. His believed if he owned a house and was successful …

FACE

Things have been good. Quiet, too. I've not heard any updates from my mom but I haven't inquired. I will be visiting tomorrow to celebrate her birthday so figured I'd wait for any updates until then. My focus has mainly been on my children and my own personal goals. Keeping busy has been my motto, but a good busy, not just monotonous stuff.

I've been steadily working toward my goal of a 10 min/mile on my runs. I reached it and then some, managing a 9:41 pace on the 5K this morning (yay!) and a similar pace on 4 miles yesterday. It was almost too easy which suggests that it is all in my thinking, not so much in my physical body. But then I have always believed I control my body, my body doesn't control me. One's thoughts really make or break a run, or anything for that matter. Think you can, you will. Think you can't, you won't.

I have now reclaimed my running joy, something I thought I had lost when I started back into running this past July. It really wa…

As It Is

Woke early this morning at around 5:30am with no dream recall whatsoever. Super tired, I rolled over to try and return to sleep despite hearing tiny footsteps on the stairs outside my room.

Dream: Injured Cat

I was in a garage (period of inactivity in my life) with my mom about to get into the car to go somewhere. It felt like early morning. My mom told me my brother was checking on an injured cat (feminine spirit, sexuality) he saw in the road that had been hit by a car. He was going to take it to the vet and see if he could save its life. I remember thinking, "My brother the cat hero" or something like that and thinking about how he always did have a big heart. In my mind I saw the cat - gray with thick fur and wrapped in a towel. It reminded me of one of my mom's cats that recently died, attacked in the night by some animal and left in my mom's front yard for her to find in the morning, entrails strewn all over.

Dream: Adoption Agreement

The dream merged into another …

Change is Afoot

The energy is intense again, but not in the usual (spiritual) way. I woke up yesterday morning feeling a strong urge to do something about my current situation. This is the third or fourth time I've woke up with this feeling. Usually I wake early and then can't return to sleep because my mind is so active. This morning the thought going through my mind was, "I've got to get out" and it took me a while to calm down and stop that thought from superseding everything.

A couple of nights ago my guide told me, "Everything will be clear in the morning." I wonder now if this is what he was referring to? It is not often that I wake up with such a strong inclination for change and this morning things are already pointing to changes on the horizon.

Change is Afoot

When I checked my phone upon waking there was a message from my mom to me and two of my siblings. She spent an evening in the ER and was informing us of what happened. It is nothing serious, thankfully, but…

More Tears Anyone?

Seriously tired of crying - in my dreams, when I'm meditating, when I have down time/alone time.......crying in general! I never know what will set me off, either. Sometimes it is beautiful things, sometimes sad things, other times it's memories, and then sometimes I have no idea why I'm crying. If I'm busy, I'm good to go. Stay occupied = no crying. Got it. But the minute I'm alone and unoccupied then my heart grows heavy and I get all sappy and weak-like and usually end up crying either a little or a lot. UGH! Then, lucky me, I get to cry in my dreams!!!!!!!!!!

No, it's not an all-the-time thing, thankfully, but it happens enough still that it is bothersome. I'm getting a bit grumpy/angry about it now.

Dreams

When I woke at 6:15am I had no memory of my dreams and fell back to sleep. When I woke again I was in tears, full-on sobbing, but suddenly had an entire night's worth of dream recall.

School dream with burning car - Dreamed I was in school (life …

October Energy and Update

The energy is weird. It started October 1st and has just continued. Full moon maybe? I didn't even realize the full moon was so close until today.

On October 1st toward the evening I began to feel like nothing I did or ever could do would matter or change my future. It was such a helpless feeling but interestingly enough it came with an unburdening. My shoulders felt lighter and I exhaled relief. I can't remember now what I was thinking prior to this feeling. Probably trying to sort out my future, to make decisions about the direction I wish to go.

Then on the 2nd the news of the Las Vegas shooting came and I wondered if maybe the gunman (or gunmen) felt some of what I felt on the 1st? Maybe he just felt so hopeless he lost his mind? Maybe he figured he would do something drastic since nothing else seemed to make a difference? Makes me glad that I relaxed into the feeling and let it unburden me.

Dreams

For both the 1st and the 2nd I had strange dreams and woke up crying. The tears…