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Spiritual Theme - Let It Go!

It's been hectic around here. Hurricane Harvey hit and with it came torrential downpours, high winds and power outages. Thankfully, we are located far enough away that we didn't get the worst of it. We only had momentary power outages while other parts of our area lost power for longer periods. We didn't have any major flooding either despite sideways, constant rain and wind gusts up to 35 mph. It was like we had a 36-48 hour major thunderstorm that didn't stop.

Harvey Rainfall prediction map courtesy 

This morning the rain let up enough that I ventured out on a morning run. It was super cool - 70 degrees - and windy with sparse rain. I actually welcomed the weather as it made my run that much easier.

Here is a photo of the one downed tree in our neighborhood. While in Austin I saw trees that had just fallen over, roots in the air. This is likely because the soil got saturated and the high winds were just too much.

When I was growing up and living in Magnolia, TX we use to get massive storms and week-long power outages when hurricanes hit the coast. I remember the storms vividly and they terrified me. One time a tree fell on the roof of our house even. We then had to live without power for a week or more which is never fun. We were lucky to have a swimming pool to use when we ran out of water. Just boil it up and it is good to go. Others didn't have it so easy. Often times the nearby creeks would remain too high to cross effectively trapping us in our small neighborhood for at least a week.

I saw this photo recently of Tomball, TX from Friday. I use to go to school in Tomball. Seeing it under that much water was a first in my memory. Wow.

Tomball, TX  courtesy KHOU news
The images of Houston are even more amazing. However, I think it was just a few years ago (2015) that Houston suffered similar flooding that was not hurricane related. That year the creek in our backyard got within 8 feet of our house and the city of Wimberly, TX was devastated.

The flooding and severe weather is not surprising to me. I was warned years ago that with the Earth's tilt changing the weather would be affected. I was shown a map in my mind and saw the imaginary line delineating the tropics and subtropics shift enough to bring the subtropics closer to South Texas and Florida (it was at an angle). I knew this meant higher humidity, warmer temps and increased rainfall, though not all at once and definitely not on a gradient. The map that is most memorable to me was the one of around 2050. The US was split in half at the Mississippi which had flooded permanently all the way from it's mouth to up near the Great Lakes region. 

Other Goings-On

We have been preparing for the first day of school (today) for a while now and my kids have been wound up because of it. That means more fights, more noise, more hyperactivity, more tantrums from exhaustion, more of everything. Thankfully, the first day of school was delayed by 2 hours and so this morning was calmer than I expected. My husband has 15 people who flew all the way from NY to visit his company and so had to leave early this morning (6:30am). Business is booming but that means he's gone more and I was a bit worried about having to do all the first day stuff alone and early in the morning. With the school delay I was able to go on my run and do my circuit training and still have plenty of time to get my kids ready for their first day (well they did it on their own they were so excited lol). 

Yesterday I had a mediumship reading scheduled via Skype that was cancelled last minute. So I did it via email with amazingly accurate results. Always nice to get a surprise like that! Then I went to our church for an emergency meeting to gather volunteers for Harvey. It is likely we will be in Houston to help with cleanup and whatever else is needed. After that I went to a meeting for a private school a friend of ours is going to open next Fall. My entire day was packed. 

All along I have been keeping up with my nutrition and exercise program. It's been a week now and I am adjusting well. The clean eating is doing me a lot of good. I feel and look better. The exercise is brutal on the weight lifting circuit days but the runs are getting easier. So my body is adjusting all the way around. I decided to sign up for a 5K near my mom's house in a vineyard. I think it will be fun. My mom agreed to watch the kids and then hang out with me after the run. There will be a live band, food, and of course, wine, afterward. It is schedule for September 16th. 

Spiritual Theme - Let it Go!

I've had an interesting mix of spiritual stuff happening. I've found three geckos this week. Two dead and the final one alive. The live one lost its tail when I was trying to catch it to put it outside. Geckos represent the cycle of life, death, rebirth and metamorphosis. The tail falling off of the last one is fitting. Time to regenerate.

Dead gecko I found yesterday. 
Similarly in one day I found three dead smokey brown cockroaches downstairs and then more came after that. I think their life cycles are coming to an end. This always happens this time of year but the rains may have made some of them seek shelter in our house. I'm glad they were dead and if they weren't, they are now. hehe I see the dead roaches as symbols of endings and symbolic of the not-so-pleasant aspects of ourselves.

The roaches and geckos came after I had a dream of visiting my internal "ghetto" and a discussion about how to handle the mess of it. I wanted to bomb it and just wipe it out. My guide suggested I not do that but instead renovate it. He said if I destroy it then it will just emerge again at a later date.

I've also been waking up in the middle of the night frequently again, sometimes up to 5 times. For the first half of the week I kept being woken up by root chakra activity. In one night I woke up three times from it! Recently I've been waking up in tears, sobbing and full of grief. Early this morning I had one of the most intense grief episodes and had tears pouring out of my eyes in buckets. 


It is just this morning that I realize what I have been working on in my dreams. Most of my dreams have been indicating that I had untapped gifts that I have ignored or forgotten about. Others seem to be gently nudging me to confront emotional pain. All of my dreams seem to be pushing me to let go - to release my ideas of how things should be and let the Divine show me my path (Ego death). 

For example, I had a dream where I was inside a bathroom that had old photos of a couple all over the walls. I took all the photos down because the couple no longer lived there. Then I saw a large wedding photo. It was one of those musical ones and it started playing music. When I shut it off and looked at the photo I said, "We were suppose to be together" and then burst into tears. When I woke up I wasn't crying but was puzzled. Later I understood I was trying to let go of either a past life, reality or timeline. Of course all of those are the same thing really. lol

In another dream I was operating on a blonde woman's uterus and then sewing her up. Later I was in the car with my mom explaining to her that I wanted to leave this body. She asked why I told her I had never felt I belonged here. That whole night I seemed to be discussing my problems with random people. 

In other dreams I have been feeling the strong attraction that comes with a heart connection. I don't cry but I feel it and enjoy it. In one dream I was with a man who I felt the connection with and said to myself, "I love him" and then said, "I will be okay" when I thought about not being around him. This seemed like a big deal when I woke up. After I woke up I had a vision of two headless people, one male and one female, holding hands. I heard distinctly, "Divine timing." 

This morning's teary episode was after talking to someone about losing a loved one. I remember seeing twin girls, both blonde. There was a woman with me who said, "It is hard to move on. People continue to talk about them (the lost loved one), especially the children. They don't feel the loss like we do." Her words caused a fountain of tears to flow. The grief was debilitating. I hate it. 

Dream: She's Dying

This morning I was nearly lucid but never fully caught on that I was dreaming. I was sitting in a chair on a porch facing a wooden home. Inside the home was a dark haired girl. She had just moved in. I was sitting and staring blankly at the house. In the distance I could see clearly a snow capped mountain surrounded by green foothills. It was spectacular and I longed to be on that mountain. The girl came over to me and offered me some sunflower seeds to feed the birds. I couldn't move to accept them so she put them on my right shoulder. Then she tossed a handful into the air. I could see birds and small animals scamper toward the food in my peripheral vision but I never turned or moved. I was completely zoned out in apathy. Someone asked the girl, "What's wrong with her (me)?" She said, "She's slowly dying. It's not a physical death, though."

When I awoke from the dream the message finally hit home. I have been thinking this whole time that I have been suffering from a broken heart that can't be mended. This dream, though, suggests I am struggling through an Ego death. I could feel just how stubborn I've been holding on.

I find the sunflower seeds interesting here. It was odd in the dream that the girl just placed them on my shoulder. Below is part of the symbolism of the sunflower (not the seeds) from It appears that the message is to take back my ability to plant the seeds of faith.
The sunflower is the Greek symbol of Clytie (a water nymph) who turns into a sunflower after grieving over the loss of her love (Apollo). The mythological symbolism here is that Clytie (in the form of a sunflower) is always facing the sun, looking for Apollo's chariot to return and she might be joined again with her love. The sunflower is also a symbol of Daphne (another Greek nymph).

I've been receiving more direct communication lately. I won't go into it all right now because one message in and of itself could be an entire post. That one is about monads and soul family connection and pretty awesome. Not sure when or if I will ever get to writing the post, though.


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