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More on the Experience

The strange experience I had early last night did not keep me from falling asleep, though it did wake me up for a short time. When normally I would be super excited after such an experience, I was not in this instance. I remember sending to my guidance, "I told you to stop it." In response I got a memory of being told, "There's no turning back." They just don't seem to care whether I want to have these experiences or not.

When I awoke this morning my dreams quickly disappeared. All I recall was feeling a buzzing energy in my crown and a similar energy snaking around to the front of my neck from the lower part of my head. For some reason I thought I should have a headache after the crazy exploding energy in my head last night, but there was no lingering evidence that I had ever gotten one. My head felt - still feels - odd. It is unlike anything I have ever felt before. No energy "helmet" like I'm use to. Instead the inside of my head is what feels different. The closest I can come to describing the feeling is that my brain feels like it has been blown up like a balloon. lol I know, weird.

More on the Experience

I am upset that despite all my protesting these kinds of experiences, I am still having them. They are a complete distraction and only serve to get me caught up in the endless mysterious puzzle I can't help but try to solve. I am especially upset with my guidance for not stepping back and giving me the space I asked for. Prior to all the energy last night one of my guides came up behind me and wrapped me in an all-over energy hug from behind. Of course, it felt wonderful and I wanted to just allow it but I got mad and shoved it away and tried to block it. I couldn't, though, and the tingling, warm sensation spread over me like a blanket from head to toe. Nor could I block my guide's communication completely. If I push the mental translation out of my mind, the telepathic version still gets through. I am unable to stop it no matter how much I try. It is, always has been, there and I am just too aware now to stop being aware. Like my guides said, it's too late. There's no turning back.

The heart bliss that hit me early on last night originated from my counterpart and though I am not sure why it happened when it did, it was welcome and I did not block it or fight it. It felt very much like a telepathic phone call. The bliss was beautiful. I didn't realize how much I had missed it until I was experiencing it. Thankfully, it did not make me cry. Instead I embraced it.

As for the strange vortex of energy descending down via my crown into my energy body, I have not been overly preoccupied with it because it has happened before. I have had two other, similar, experiences in the past. One was in 2005. I wrote in my journal: 
A massive amount of energy descended on me from above. I was not asleep or meditating – I was wide awake! It filled my entire body and felt like a swarm of bees buzzing inside of me. I felt electric or as if I had been magnetized. I relaxed into it. Source
After that experience I actually went OOB via my crown and then went on a long astral adventure.

Another similar experience occurred in 2006 but the energy was different. Instead of feeling the energy descend down and fill me up with a buzzing sensation, it felt like liquid and pulled me up and OOB through my crown chakra. I resisted, though, terrified that I was dying. I yelled to my guidance that I couldn't go yet and returned back to my body quickly via the same liquid-energy sensation.

Neither of those experiences involved the white Light. Nor do I recall hearing anything. The sound last night was loud, like a windstorm or hurricane, and it was not heard just in my ears/head but throughout my body.

So what was it? Who knows. Kundalini most likely. I was told last year to expect the energy to descend like this. I had expected it sooner and thought it would be more life-changing, but then I rarely get what I expect so I should not be surprised. I do feel different today, but only slightly so. My upper chakras are all lit up, but not my third-eye for some reason. My heart has been active as well, just a nice warmth radiating outward. The sensation in my crown is familiar. I feel like I'm in La-La Land - kinda spaced out and daydreamy.

I said in my other post that it seemed like a "test". I say this because the energy felt like it was working on me, clearing me out, unblocking blocked meridians and chakras.

When I woke this morning I knew more was coming. I was not asking to know this and I yelled at my guidance again but it was too late. It is what it is. Problem with the timing is that I don't want this going on when I am in the midst of processing. Shit.

Those of you who followed me over from my other blog, stop laughing. It's not funny! ;)