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I'm Baaaack!

Hi everyone. I know this blog has been set to "private" for a while now and that I have not been blogging here since 2014. Well I am shifting back to this blog and away from my WordPress blog. It's not that I have found the WP community unfriendly. Not at all. It's that I feel my time there is over for now. The reason for this is that I have recently realized that the path I have been on for the last three years is coming to an end. It's time to revert to the path I was on previously.

What does this mean? If you have been following my WP blog then you have an idea of what I have been through these last few years. It's been a wild ride - a spiritual awakening all over again and brand new. However, the ride was never meant to last and here I am shifting back to where I left off.

When I say "where I left off" I mean that my path is reverting back to auditing and continuing my processing. I stopped for many reasons - Kundalini began to rage, spiritual messages and profundity were rampant and interfering, and that path was "closed" or barred by various hurdles I did not want to cross while experiencing the preceding two. However, the path I ended up on these last few years left me feeling extremely weary (and wary) of it at the end. It is now apparent to me that many booby traps were triggered and that I cannot navigate through them on my own. I need help and further auditing is that help.

I have yet to actually start the new path other than letting my husband know my intentions. I am certain I will encounter more resistance because of being off the path for so long. I can handle it and it is better then living in the uncertainty that has been the result of these last few years.

So my focus will be back on the "mundane" more than it has been. It could mean I get another job, or not. I do wish to continue my auditing and with all the time I have it should go pretty fast. It will not be easy. I will struggle I am sure because what I am set to find on this path will be difficult but it is full-on confrontation of the "skeletons" in my subconscious and whole-track closet. Only through resolving the traps these skeletons create will I be freed to have what I have been searching for - freedom to be my True Self and clarity - consistency - where before I had on-again, off-again Knowing.

Though the path I have been on has been exciting with lots of up's and down's, unknown's, mysteries, and twists and turns, it has been mentally difficult to traverse and a lot of work and struggle. But it doesn't have to be so much work. That is one of the booby traps of the "ascension" path. You have to do lots of "inner work", you will struggle with ascension-related symptoms, and everyone has their own version of how to travel the path. The booby traps you encounter you must handle on your own and the assistance from others is sub-par at best. All kinds of "magic" solutions by individuals who claim to have the ability to help only because they think they have successfully traversed the ascension path. They use their own experience to try and help others, but this is misguided because no one's path will be exactly the same and what works for one will not work for another.

The only way to "ascend" (misleading term in and of itself) is to do it on your own terms and to trust yourself through the process. For me, it helps to have a non-judgmental individual who listens (auditor) and does not push their own life crap onto me but instead uses a workable technology to assist me in finding my OWN answers. Previously, when I went off the "spiritual" path in 2007, it was because my own guidance seemed to have "failed" me and I found auditing to be a preferable stand-in to my guidance. There was no ego-interference because my guides were no longer the "auditors" but rather a non-biased individual was. It seems the last few years have taught me the same lesson all over again. My own Ego is too big of a hurdle for me to face on my own, guides or no guides, profound experiences or not.

So for now I have to get the ball rolling on my next step. It is one I prefer not to do, which is why I have been stuck for so long, but it honestly will not take long if I just up and do it. Hopefully I can start next weekend if childcare can be organized.