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Yesterday was a long day. When I went to bed I was wide awake and it was already 11pm. I don't think I was able to fall asleep until some time after that. I just felt awake but my mind was mostly blank except for the question that remained from the night before: What is it that I am here to do, exactly?

I know I am here to help and so I asked my guide, "Who?" His response? "The many". I was kind of hoping to get more specifics, you know? But I should have known better. It doesn't work that way. But I instantly knew that one way I was helping was via this blog. One would assume this would give me great joy, but it did not. I only sighed. I will likely never know the people who I help via this blog. That is really okay. Really.

I have recalled an in-between life experience that illustrates just how powerful even our smallest actions can affect others. In this in-between life recollection, I stood with three others and we held hands. As we did, our experiences were exchanged and I was able to see how my actions affected each and every one of them. What is unbelievable about it is that I had never even met two of them in that life. Yet, my actions still affected them. Unfortunately for me, what I did was not positive and I was there to see the far reaching consequences of my actions. I guess I didn't learn my lesson from that life because I know I have repeated such actions time and time again in this life and will likely do so again in others. Yet I also know that both positive and negative actions (as we humans define them anyway) are equally important and necessary. For example, something I write in my blog may be interpreted as a personal attack by another even though it is not intended as such. And that in turn will affect them and possibly others if they pass on the effect. It can also happen the other way around and be a positive effect. Either way, I have served my purpose - to help - even though it may not always seem that I, in fact, helped.

Sucked into the Bed

The above were my thoughts as I drifted off to sleep. Unfortunately, my sleep was fitful and I tossed and turned most of the night. I don't know why that is but I do know that one time I awoke very angry. I won't go into detail about it now, but it was enough upset that I believe my body reacted making my back very tight and sore. I managed, somehow, to fall asleep despite this, but my thoughts and anger infiltrated my dreams.

I found myself in an unfamiliar house. It was where I was living but I did not know it. There was a woman who was there to create problems. I knew in the dream that she represented that which I had fallen asleep angry about. The feelings I felt were all transferred into her - anger, frustration, deceit, disappointment, caution - this tall, beautiful and graceful woman. Recognizing she was not to be trusted I was not very nice to her.

This woman had deceived my husband and poisoned him with lies. She gave him something, a small pill of some kind, and he took it. Then I watched as she pulled him to her, seductively, and he embraced her. When he did, a huge hole opened up in the bed between her legs and sucked him in. He did not resist and I watched as his body was completely engulfed and the bed seemed to boil, a blackness overtaking him.

I watched in horror, feeling deceived and defeated. Yet as I stared open mouthed, I saw my husband's arms reach out from the hole in the bed and grasp wildly about. The woman grabbed him and pulled him out. I noticed that he was gray and covered in dirt or something black. Defiled. I pleaded with him to reject her and come with me. The woman sat smiling and my husband did not move. She offered him another pill and he took it and my hopes of him returning to sanity disappeared. I yelled at them both, "Then the two of you can have each other!"

Upset followed me into the kitchen, as did the woman. I immediately saw a young girl who I recognized to be my daughter in her early teens but she looked nothing like my real life daughter. She had left me a present on the counter. It was a large, green frog statue. I oohed and awed over it, telling her thank you. She then showed me a card for her dad. I could see her writing on the card. It looked just like her writing now - the writing of a 6 year old - and was done in green crayon. The woman took it and with a green crayon, lightly colored over the message. I yelled at her to stop and noticed that the woman looked like my mother.

Awareness Takes Over

I moved away from the kitchen to the breakfast nook. It was country styled, painted in white. I noticed there was an opening below it and when I peered into I saw that it went to the outside. I could not figure out how to close it and was concerned by this. I then saw another opening to the left of the table and as I focused upon in, a gray tabby cat crawled in. I yelled at him and the woman, saying the holes needed to be fixed and that wild cats were coming in. As I yelled, another cat came in, an orange tabby, and hissed at me. Then both crawled up onto a sofa. I tried to touch one and it lashed out at me and hissed. I did not know what to do and felt confusion wash over me. I have never felt so unable to act as I did at that instant.

The woman was there and commented about it, but I do not remember what she said. I became fully lucid at this point and began to look around the house. As I did, the country style kitchen vanished and was replaced with a very nice living room and foyer area with wood flooring and upscale furniture. The scene became brightly vivid. I look about and saw a nice floral sofa and dark, maple or cherry wood furniture. I noticed there was no TV. For some reason no TV seemed odd to me.

I turned towards the front door and searched for a coat rack as I pulled off my shirt/coat. Yet at that time I at first saw the evil lady from before do this and saw her reveal her breasts and head towards the sitting area. At some point, though, I became her and the entire "evil lady" persona was gone, replaced by a me that was searching for an astral partner.

It was at this point I returned to my body briefly and consciously chose to go back. As soon as I did, I was back in the house and saw a large, black man go into the bathroom. I decided to follow him and interrupted him doing his business. However, the man inside was not the man who I had seen go in. He was a spindly, geeky white man with blondish hair and a dorky surprised look on his face. I said to him, "You are not a black man!" And he continued to stare at me. I was very conscious of the sound of someone peeing and saw he was peeing into the toiled and onto the wall. Then I saw my reflection in a mirror that was covering the entire bathroom wall. I turned and looked at myself and my face and hair were glowing. I also noticed the left side of my face was bulging like one would see in one of those carnival mirrors. Seeing this, I tried to focus more but instead ended up back in my body.


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