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If You Leave

I awoke hearing this song this morning. It completely threw me because it did not go along with the dream I was having. The main lyrics I was hearing was the part at the end where it continues to say "If you leave" over and over. I could hear the "Oh, oh-oh" as well. I assume the message was from Spirit telling me they would like me to stay in this life a little longer.


It is funny how every time I start wondering what I am doing here on Earth this life, I get an answer. Lately, the answers are much easier to recognize. Instead of just hints or intuitive hunches, I actually get messages in words or pictures. I have even recently received intense urges or impulses. To receive such a strong message along with an urge has only happened one other time in my life, so it is a very rare thing indeed (for me). It makes the messages very difficult to ignore and even the stubbornest person (that would be me) cannot talk their way out of it.

Yesterday the full impact of the visual message I received hit me. The title of the book I saw would not leave me - The Nurturing of Innocence. That is powerful! I could not stop saying it over and over in my mind, as if I was tasting what it would be like. I also had ideas hit me. I won't go into detail about it but I will say that those ideas have come to me before.

I was unsure about my eldest and what I would do with her until we had a talk. I decided to not mess with a good thing. She likes school right now. She is excited about learning. To pull her out of a scene she likes, when she is doing so well, would not be ideal. So I told her that the minute she stops feeling excited about learning, to tell me. She agreed.


I had more vivid dreams last night. The first one had me feeling nervous. My family and I were going on a trip together. As we were leaving, I discovered that I had lost my debit card. I later found that all my credit cards were also gone. I spent most of the dream trying to figure out what had happened, retracing my steps to see when someone could have taken them. It came down when I had left my things in a hotel.

The hotel had been temporary. My husband had just gone into a room and stored our stuff without paying for it. I remembered leaving my purse on the bed when we went to eat. The cards had disappeared after that and I blamed my husband for not doing the right thing and paying for the hotel. I was also concerned about identity theft.

In one particular scene of the dream I sat waiting to leave with my "family". We sat outside, no home or place to call our own, and I felt I had nothing left. No money, no home, no possessions. The trip seemed not exciting anymore. I felt very disappointed and like a failure.


We ended up leaving and stopped by a store. I had suggested we get some food. We went inside and I had two children following me - a boy and girl - though they were not my children. I could not find what I wanted but the kids found some pets they wanted, tiny bug-like creatures. I went up to one and looked at it closely. It turned into a beautiful fairy-like woman right before my eyes. We spoke, though I don't remember what we said now. She smelled sweet and was rose colored. I put out my hand, asking her to shrink back into the tiny winged creature she had been, but she never did.

The boy had taken a cage with him and tried to get me to buy it. I told him no and he set it down. I saw what looked like a shell with something inside it but I still do not know what kind of "bug" it was. It did have a magical feel to it, though.


The dream changed and I found myself in a long, white hallway. It felt as if I were in a hospital but it also had a spaceship feel to it. I saw a little girl who was dragging her foot. She was very pretty and friendly and we spoke. She said she was looking for her mommy. There was again a very, pretty rose color about her, similar to the fairy I saw before.

After a little while the little girl said she had to go, her mommy was coming. A very professional looking woman came down the hall and a strange blue light, like a beam, hit her and the girl was sucked into it. Her and her mother became one and moved away. I noticed they were not alone and that they seemed oblivious to my presence.

Suddenly they began putting on masks. I knew they had been conditioned to withstand some kind of deadly chemical and masks were part of this. I watched as one took a breath with the mask, confident he would live. Unfortunately he began to gag and suffocate right before my eyes. I heard a woman say, "What a waste of money that was" and knew they had spent much time and money engineering these people to survive this poisonous gas.

That is when I awoke to the song, "If You Leave".

wind_fairy1 Interpretation

It don't know exactly what these dreams mean, but if I put them together with the song they seem to indicate that I was having in-depth conversations with my guides about the prospect of me leaving this life earlier than anticipated. I feel I was being shown what failure would feel like in the first dream. Losing my identity was a big part of that dream, which is very much like losing hope and/or focus in life.

In the second dream I feel like I was being shown that there is still hope and that I will be helped. I was looking for food and, though I couldn't find what I wanted, I was drawn to a mystical creature that filled me with fascination and curiosity.

In the last dream I feel we were discussing my concerns about the futility of life, how so much work seems to be needed for something destined to be a failure. There was an element of our oneness there, though, in that of the little girl who was forever connected to her mother.


I have been seeing geckos in my house. In total there have been five. Gecko's message is to pay attention to your dreams and listen to your intuition. Being my dreams have been so vivid, I figure they must be trying to tell me something. I am paying attention but I can't help but feel there is a part of me making a decision that I have little control over. There is a feeling of dread attached to it, but it is very slight. I can only leave it to the divine as it must be something I am not yet meant to know.


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