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I have been so busy the last week that I have barely been able to digest everything that has happened. As my Mom would say, I have been a "white tornado" trying to get things done and be where I need to be when I need to be there. But finally today I have some time to think and mull over all that has happened. Whew!


If you haven't been reading and keeping up, here is a quick recap of what has happened in the past 5 weeks or so. It includes more recent events as well.

March 31st - My baby was born via c-section.
April 25th - My mother gets married. My sister and her husband finally begin moving out after months of conflict with my grandmother, mother and cousin.
April 26th - My grandmother falls and dislocates her shoulder, hits her head, has a heart attack and is diagnosed with a UTI. She loses consciousness and rarely wakes to communicate. 
April 28th - My sister and her husband are completely moved out.
May 2nd  - After a week in the hospital my grandmother is taken to a hospice to recover or die. She is not conscious. We put our house on the market.
May 3rd - Our house listing goes live on the internet and is viewable by realtors.
May 4th - My grandmother passes away at 9am. Three couples come to look at our home. All three make offers.
May 5th - There is a bidding war over our home. The final and accepted offer came to $30k over the sales price. The death of my mother and the shock that I am really going to be leaving my home hits me and I break down in tears in front of my Mom. I can't sleep that night.
May 6th - Viewing for my grandmother. My boss calls me and tells me she resigned her position early. I go and say goodbye that afternoon. I can't sleep again.
May 7th - My grandmother's funeral service. I can't sleep, night three.
May 8th - Home inspection and dr appointment. I was given permission to return to work part-time because my blood pressure was high. I return to work full-time on May 26. We make an offer on a house. I schedule my return work schedule and talk to my new temporary boss. I finally get some sleep!

When I look at all that has happened in such a short period of time - a birth, a marriage and a death along with buying and selling a house and a change in my work situation - I can see why my blood pressure was high at my doctor visit! Hopefully it goes down now that things are settling down.


I was and am experiencing every emotion imaginable. There are so many emotions that most of the time I am
not even aware of them. I just suck it up and do what I have to do. If I am tired, I suck it up and move through it. If I am sad I just push on. If I am excited it comes out in spurts. And every once in a while I break down and don't know exactly why or what emotion is causing it. Maybe all of them?

My grandmother visited me after her passing. It was not in a dream - I have not had many of those and they are hard to remember. The first time she visited I heard a song by the Lumineers with the message to keep my head up. The second time she visited I heard the song Peace in the Valley and felt the message was literally about the valley we all live in as well as about peace on the Other side. Then I felt her near and got this distinct taste in my mouth. I was familiar with it.  It was the taste of the antibiotics they gave me when I was in labor. I always taste the medications they put in my I.V. I felt this was likely the taste she had in her mouth at some point, too. It wouldn't go away so I thanked her and then it went away. The next time she visited I was thinking of all the stuff going on and out of the blue I got a flash in my mind of two images. The first was of fat rolls on the stomach of some person. It was as if I were looking down at stomach of someone. The second image was of this young woman in a bathing suit. She had dark hair, was thin and very beautiful. I then thought how odd to get those images and then heard someone say they were embarrassed of their tummy. I instantly knew it was my grandmother and she was telling me she was happy to be free of her body and was also complaining of how her dead body looked. She often complained of her weight and how she looked. Thankfully, I did not get emotional with any of these visits. I was happy to know she was doing okay. It felt like the person I knew in this life was very different from the one who was happy on the Other Side. She was carefree and so energetic. I wish I had known her in her youth, I think I would have liked her much more.

Messages from Guides

Though I have had a lot going on, some messages from my guides do make it through to me. One was early on the day before we put our home on the market. I heard, "8 days". It felt like our home would be sold in 8 days. Well, today is day 8 and I am wondering if I heard the message right. Our home was sold much earlier than that. However, today is the first day in a week that I have time to sit and think. I don't have any pressing matters to tend to (yet). So perhaps it was just a message to warn me of a very hectic time in my life?

I have also been told to listen to my true Self and not let my emotions dictate my decisions. This is not easy to do but I know how to do it. Basically a thought about what to do will come on suddenly. The key is to not question it but to act on it. So far I have not had a thought hit me like that but I have been trying to listen. Hopefully I am not messing things up!


Finally, last night I had a dream that I remembered enough of to get a message. I was in a restaurant with my son. I had just been talking to my ex who was getting married for the third time. He was also about to leave on a long trip and had trunks of stuff piled up and ready to go. It seemed like he was going back overseas. I remember saying goodbye and then I sat in the booth with my son who often turned into my daughter but I never actually saw either of them. Suddenly I was aware that my child was not sitting across from me but it was a man. The man was older, maybe in his 50s, but very familiar. He had light colored hair and looked like the Marlboro Man from the ads. What is strange is he had ivy growing where his mustache should be and an ivy leaf on the corner of each of his eyes. I remember saying to him in surprise, "You have ivy growing out of your face!" I also noticed that around his throat was a white box. It looked like it was put there like a bandage. It was odd. He said to me, "He will not stay quiet for long". That is when I woke up.

I have never seen ivy so distinctly in my dream so I looked up its symbolism. Ivy symbolizes longevity and immortality. It can also indicate a close-knit relationship and the safety and security they provide. The white box is likely suggesting that this person whom I have a close-knit relationship with (likely my husband) is keeping quite right now - suppressing his true feelings. Since it is white it suggests that he is happy to do this - it is his choice. The message warns that I should prepare for that to change. I actually immediately understood the message to be about my husband and a specific situation we are in. I am not sure how I will react if he pushes me too much. Hopefully he will be nice about it.

The fact that I am once again in a restaurant indicates I am feeling overwhelmed by decisions I need to make. This is so true at the moment! Anyway, I didn't mention it, but at one point I remember that it was 5p.m. and they were serving corn dogs. I remember hearing someone say that we were there much later than anticipated and that we should stay and eat for free. I turned this down. Guess I am not ready to make all the decisions or enjoy it for that matter!

Finally, to see the trunks piled up symbolizes things from the past that I am unwilling to confront or have not dealt with. Specifically, trunks symbolize feelings, emotions and memories from the past. Considering they were leaving with my ex husband fits with this interpretation.

Marlboro Man

I want to end this post with the significance of seeing someone in my dreams who looked like the Marlboro
Man. When I was first exploring my gifts my guide, Steven, was often seen looking like the man who I saw in last night's dream. One friend described him as looking like a cowboy similar to the Marlboro Man in looks. We would joke about it and often refer to Steven as "the Marlboro Man". When I awoke I could still see the man very clearly in my mind with the ivy coming out of his eyes. Just a few days before when I was looking for my guides as I tend to do before bed I recognized that Steven was there and even acknowledged him, though I did not see him. He has been the one speaking to me the most the past few days. So my dream last night indicates that my perceptions were/are correct. It is nice to have my old friend close again. I have missed him.