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Showing posts from May, 2014

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Dragonfly

My daughter brought home a present for me yesterday. It was a beautiful necklace with a large, silver and black dragonfly. I didn't know it was for me. I saw it laying on the table and, being drawn to it, ooed and awed over it and put it on. She, of course, was pleased to see me so drawn to a present she brought home for me.

Dragonfly

As a totem or Spirit animal/insect, the dragonfly has many messages. Specifically the dragonfly symbolizes the following: maturity and depth of character, power and poise, defeat of illusions that are self-created, living in present time and focus upon the moment, and the ability to see beyond this mundane existence into the possibilities of the universe and our own power as spiritual beings.

When a dragonfly comes into your life he often brings with him change in one form or the other. This change often develops from the inside when the individual recognizes the untruths about their life and decides to make changes that align with his or her own inner …

Reawakening

I have been meaning to write to update you all on everything that has been going on, but I have been super busy and, well, exhausted.

House Buying/Selling

Buying

We found a house last weekend and upon seeing it decided it was our first choice. We already made an offer on two other houses. One was rejected because a cash offer was made and the other was accepted. Both houses were fixer uppers. The first was my husband's first choice. The second was a fall back house. Neither of us liked the second too much but it was all that was left that fit our criteria. Then a house was listed that was both liked and so we made an offer even while the second of the two houses I mentioned above had accepted our offer. Two days ago we discovered they accepted our offer! However, they are out of state on vacation so I have yet to see the signed contract yet. They have to sign it using DocuSign and since they are Filipino it has been difficult for their agent to explain. Hopefully the contract will be…

R & R

Last night was a very busy night for me.

You're a Winner!

This was a regular dream, though very vivid and real. I first recall being in a hotel with a woman. She was tall, approximately mid-thirties with wavy blond hair and blue eyes and very familiar. I believe she is one of my female guides, though which one I am not sure. I don't recall specifically what we were discussing but I do remember that I was in a hotel yet again. It was a tall building like the Hilton or similar.

I left the hotel in a car, heading I don't know where. As I was driving away I must have been going the wrong direction because I kept running into people going the other way. I also noted that the road was new and there was still construction in parts of it. At one point I swerved to avoid oncoming cars and veered off into the dirt shoulder.What is odd is I don't recall actually being inside a vehicle, it was more like I was flying close to the road. Yet there was a feeling or assumption that I was …

Always Look on the Bright Side

I started back to work on Monday. I got a letter to only go back part-time for the first two weeks and then resume full-time. I am wishing now that I had asked my doctor to extend my leave for another four weeks.

Micro-manager

I got to meet my new boss on my first day back. She was a previous director who had retired. They called her back for the short-term until they hire someone else. My first impression of her came via the phone before my first day and I noted she was very distracted when I talked to her and was not overly friendly. When I met her she seemed the same but I could tell she was very tense and serious. She immediately told me to stay in my office and wait for her.

I should have listened to my initial feelings of her: she was someone who I would not work well with. First of all, she is a horrible micro-manager. I learned this very quickly. The way she hovers around me, asks to see my work when I finish, looks over my work and critiques it with irritation and wants me to gi…

Red Canary

Red Canary

I was not expecting to astral this morning when I awoke yet again at 5a.m. As usual, I was not able to sleep because of all my considerations about everything that is going on in my life. At one point, though, I remember thinking to myself, "I don't care".

The next thing I remember, I was having a conversation with myself while laying in my familiar childhood bedroom. Basically, I was still mulling over the things going on in my life - selling and buying a house, going back to work, my family, etc. I recall having a conversation with someone about everything but cannot remember the specifics of it. I do recall hearing numbers. First it was 24 then it was 5 and 12. In the background I could hear the sounds of a television playing in the living room. I even could make out what was being said and knew the name of the show playing though I can't remember it now.

At one point I opened my eyes for a moment but they felt heavy from sleep. When I began looking around…

Hectic

I have been so busy the last week that I have barely been able to digest everything that has happened. As my Mom would say, I have been a "white tornado" trying to get things done and be where I need to be when I need to be there. But finally today I have some time to think and mull over all that has happened. Whew!

Recap

If you haven't been reading and keeping up, here is a quick recap of what has happened in the past 5 weeks or so. It includes more recent events as well.

March 31st - My baby was born via c-section.
April 25th - My mother gets married. My sister and her husband finally begin moving out after months of conflict with my grandmother, mother and cousin.
April 26th - My grandmother falls and dislocates her shoulder, hits her head, has a heart attack and is diagnosed with a UTI. She loses consciousness and rarely wakes to communicate. 
April 28th - My sister and her husband are completely moved out.
May 2nd  - After a week in the hospital my grandmother is taken t…

Death and Renewal

Death

Yesterday I went to see my grandmother in the hospice. The last time I saw her was a couple of days before when she was in the hospital. She had fallen and dislocated her shoulder. Turns out she also had a UTI and fractured her pelvis. On top of that, she suffered a mild heart attack upon admittance to the hospital. When I saw her she was not communicating, only sleeping. She would open her eyes but did not seem to recognize anyone. However, when I got there she opened her eyes and then I watched her eyes follow me across the room. I went over and spoke to her and then we stayed for a visit. My grandmother closed her eyes and did not react but I know she knew I was there. I know she appreciated the visit. When I left I told her goodbye and said, "I'll see you later, either here or there, but I'll see you later".

Last night I felt like she would die today. When I awoke this morning I felt like I wanted to die and I wondered about it. When I did, I heard, "4th…

Clear Costa

"Now that which a person can create cannot have any great effect upon him. Anything that a person can create, change or destroy doesn't have any large value to him. You wouldn't think a dollar bill worth anything if you could make all of them that you possibly could want. You wouldn't think they were worth a thing. As a matter of fact, they wouldn't be worth a thing. But you wouldn't put or place any value on them. But those things which an individual cannot create - or believes he cannot create, rather - he believes he can't create something, oh-oh, that means that he can procure it only through an exchange and a communication of some sort or a line of some sort. And we have, then: only those things which a person cannot create, change or destroy can be aberrative to that person." ~ L. Ron Hubbard, The Philadelphia Doctorate Course, lecture from 2 December 1952, "A Thetan Creates by Postulates - Q2"
Quote

The quote above jumped off the pages …