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36 Weeks

I am 36 weeks pregnant already. How time flies!

My baby is breech, though, and it seems that he is quite comfortable where he is. I have tried all kinds of methods to get him to flip but it is no use. Apparently it is not unusual for a third baby to be in a breech position because the uterus is so stretchy from the previous two babies. Also it is not uncommon for a breech baby to turn at the last minute. Unfortunately the odds are still against him flipping, especially once I hit 37 weeks.


My husband and I have discussed our options. We really don't want a c-section for obvious reasons. Major surgery is a big deal and the recovery time for me would be a hindrance. My doctor will do something called an external cephalic version (ECV), which is basically trying to turn the baby from the outside, but she won't do it until I am farther along. The reason for this is that is the ECV is successful then most doctors will want to immediately induce labor to avoid the chance that the baby will flip back around. It also can be stressful to the baby so it is best for the baby to just be born. If the ECV is unsuccessful, then they usually prep for a c-section that day as well. I plan to discuss my options with my doctor next week and hopefully schedule the ECV for 38 weeks if she will allow it. If not, then hopefully she will let me do it at 39 weeks. I really don't want to go all the way to 40 weeks. This baby is big compared to my other two!

Insurance Woes

With me changing jobs, I was faced with deciding whether to keep my current group rate insurance or get new insurance. I opted to keep my current insurance using COBRA because I am so close to having my baby, the rates were better and I didn't want to start over on my deductible. It is sad that it is costing me $490 a month just to cover me (thanks to Obama Care).

Well my weekly appointment was made not so pleasant yesterday when I was told I had to pay out of pocket for my visit because Blue Cross had cancelled my insurance. I had been told that COBRA would continue my coverage without issue, but apparently not. So I am now hoping that it will all be settled when this baby comes because I do not want to pay for it all out of pocket! There was an administrative assistant at the clinic who was really not very nice to me. I think she assumed I was one of those people who didn't pay their bills and was trying to get something for nothing because she claimed I was on my third insurance (what?) and even said in front of everyone, "If I remember right you also owe a large amount". Um, excuse me but that is not anyone's business and you should not be announcing anything to everyone around! By the way, I do not owe a huge amount but then again, what would that matter anyway? I, unlike some of their customers, DO pay my bills and pay ridiculous insurance rates while many others abuse the system and do not. I would like very much not to be thrown into the general category of mooch please!

I did speak with COBRA today and they assured me the plan was retroactive and that I would get my money back. I wish this nice lady had been with me to put the rude administrative assistant in her place!

Sleep, Baby and Other News

I have been thoroughly enjoying this little week break I am on. My children have been wonderful and allowing me to sleep in, so I have been getting great sleep. I have a lot of dreams and most seem to be about healing, grounding and preparing for change. One night I remembered blue lights and being out of body. Another night there were four white tigers. And then last night I was in a large pool of water choosing whether or not I wanted to take part in a feast of food.

I have incidents where I think I just get too tired and so lose emotional control. For example, my daughter got pink eye and I had to get her a prescription. The doctor's office was suppose to call in a generic prescription but instead called in a brand name. When I went to pick it up the pharmacy couldn't even fill it! Then I was told it cost $130 and so I refused to get it. I got very frustrated and then, of course, got hot and felt like I just had to get out of the place. When I got in my car I wanted to cry but I heard my guide (this is not usual) who told me to calm down and consider how unimportant the issue was. He helped me see that I was getting wound up over nothing and I immediately calmed down. It was a good reminder to me that I often get caught up in life's problems that in the long-run are not important.

Sure enough, the problem was not a problem and all worked out. I have had to remind myself of my guide's advice several times since. It just is not worth it to get upset over the little things especially now that I am pregnant and overly tired and emotional most days.

Speaking of getting overly emotional, my husband and I had an argument that actually turned out to be helpful. I got wound up over nothing, as usual, and he called me on it. In my upset I realized that really I have no one to vent to and did not know how to vent appropriately, so was taking out my frustrations on him. When he heard this he hugged me and would not let go. I think he finally understood and, well, so did I. It was nice to let go of some of my frustration and to confront the truth of things. No one is perfect. I am not perfect and I cannot always be in control. With my pregnancy making me tired and unable to be "supermom" I neglected to ask for help and when I didn't get it I got upset. My husband is not a mind reader yet I assumed he "should know". I also need to let some things go. A perfectly clean house, home cooked meal and exercise routine are not mandatory.

Rest and Take it Easy

For the rest of this pregnancy I have decided to rest whenever I feel tired, to skip cooking dinner when I am tired and to tone down my workouts in order to not overdo it. I only have a few weeks left. There is no reason to kill myself in the process. In fact, my dreams suggest that I am overdoing it and that much of my emotional state is due to my physical body's lack of energy as it struggles to provide for my unborn baby.

I am also going to treat myself when I can. I got a manicure yesterday. I think I have had five in my lifetime, so this was a big deal for me. I didn't need it. It wasn't in my budget, but I felt I deserved it. It felt nice to give myself a treat. Who knows when the next time will be.


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