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Perceptible Shift

I have been feeling another shift in energy. It is barely perceptible but it is there. This time it feels like there will be some confronting of issues as part of this energetic shift. It could be a widespread thing or it could be just for me. From the feel of it, I believe that this shift is perceptible to most who are "awake" spiritually and it feels as if this energetic shift will continue for the remainder of this year and into the next. Right now, not all of those who are spiritually awake will sense it but as the year progresses, they will definitely begin to feel it.

It is hard to put words to what I am feeling right now. Some words to describe the feeling are: serious, urgent, life altering, important, necessary, truth. To explain this description in more detail I will just say this: The feeling comes with an urgency that says that I need to pay attention. Pay attention to the feeling and to the events that follow it. Pay attention to the decisions I make and the relationships that I care about. Pay attention to my emotions and allow them to come out as they are intended rather than push them down and pretend they aren't there. The urgent feeling says to me that I should not ignore the feeling. In the past it may have been perceptible and okay to ignore but now it must not be ignored. The life altering part is that this shift and how I respond (and other respond) to it is necessary in order to take the next step, whatever that might be. The importance of this can not be understated and it is a necessary step - it cannot be skipped. Finally, the feeling comes with a message that in order to succeed, one must search out and confront their truth.

Questions, Feelings and Thoughts

My first question is How can I do all of the above mentioned things when I have so many responsibilities in life that seem to monopolize my time? It seems impossible to make spiritual change the priority. In fact, I can't make it my priority. My children, my family, and all that that entails is my priority. I am pregnant for goodness sake!

Strangely, there are some feelings/thoughts/messages that have been coming to me in the past week that are repeating. I believe, at least in my case, that too much focus on the spiritual may actually interfere with the changes that need to take place. How can this be? Because that which one believes to be "spiritual" such as astral travel, meditation, reflection, affirmations, introspection, and other practices are just one aspect of spirituality. Survival, the mundane and daily life are often overlooked and ignored. How can these things be spiritual? They are common place and part of the mundane world, but these mundane, physical body things are in fact crucial to spiritual development and a balance must be maintained.

The thoughts/messages I have been getting are confusing to me because they suggest "giving up". For example, I have been feeling like I need to stop paying attention to my dreams, stop pursuing astral travel, decrease the frequency in which I speak to my guides and focus on my mundane life. What? That seems counter productive! Yet, the feeling persists and in the morning, when my dreams come to me and I look through them as is my habit I feel disinterested and bored. Usually they are hard to remember anyway.

Another thought that comes to me is that I should just stop. Stop fighting what life is bringing to me. Stop questioning everything. Stop fixating on what I don't have or what I wish I had. Just....stop. Of particular focus seems to be my career. The more I look at not working, the more it appeals to me. Not because I am lazy or want to be a mooch or a bum on society, but because I am so tired. In the last couple of weeks I have been using up my leave day by day, staying home and sleeping in. It has been wonderful! The more I do it, the more I want to keep doing it and the more tempting it is the throw in the towel. Even though I have this job offer that I am still waiting on to materialize I continue to fantasize about a day when I don't have to go to work every day and can just do whatever I want, anytime I want.

Another feeling that I have been getting is that I need to give more of myself to others, particularly my family. I have been hiding from them for a long time now, retreating to my bedroom in the evening hours to read or watch T.V. Last night, after I retreated to my bedroom I had the urge to stop doing what I was doing and go downstairs and spend time with my family. I resisted it but the feeling persisted. There was a hint of guilt with it and a longing for more that accompanied it. Why did I keep withdrawing from them? What was I hiding from? What was I afraid of? It was then that I perceived the shift in energy. It was as if someone was screaming at me, "Pay attention!".

And here I sit this morning, contemplating all that has been going on in my life and in my mind and in my Spirit. I took the morning off and will be taking off the next couple of days. I don't know what I will do with the free time. I plan to keep my son at home with me and spend time with him but other than that, I honestly don't know what I will do.